Author: dennismukoya

Now picture this. You meet the woman of your dreams. You are captivated by her. You approach her, you throw in a few lines and she is ensnared. She says yes. Then you date her, pay her rent for that month, volubly praise her beauty and all her delightful qualities keeping flaws out of the debate. You make such a passionate case that she is even too flattered to say, “aki thanks!” After some time you are both in love, you propose to her, investing two months’ salary on a leviathan-sized ring. She is in tears and shouts yes. You plan a wedding to end all weddings. Buy all the requisites even importing one or two items on the request of ‘the apple of your eye.’ Come wedding day, all goes according to plan, vows are read and both of you concur. The thing is solemnized before God and family and the knot is tied. All the while there was a ‘private investor’ working behind the scenes on the same aim. Come the wedding night, the aforementioned character who is also the ex-boyfriend of the lady comes into the marital home when the husband steps out to shop for candles, lotion and ‘protection.’ He plays his chess pieces like a seasoned professional and convinces the bride to elope with him. Mr. X returns home bristling with excitement to have the first bite at the conjugal cherry only to get a vacuous reception. All his phone calls to his bride are interrupted by a ‘number busy’ error code. ‘Torrents’ as used in this context is not a popular movie downloading site but the amount of tears that wet this gentleman’s pillow that night. This piece has been the script of a few high grossing soap operas and skits over the years but sometimes fact is more excruciating and surreal compared to fiction. People have witnessed this scene first hand and left crest-fallen. In Kenya this has been the tragic-comical political ode to one Raila Odinga depending on which side of the political divide you are positioned.

But the story goes even further. Historically, the region currently known as Kenya consisted of slightly more than 42 neighbouring nation-states. Each had its leader. Then came silk, the Bible, some rum lubricating the path for British Imperialism. Circa 1960, colonialism is crumbling all over Africa. The colonial Governor plans for a smooth transition. This succinctly put is to hand over power to Jaramogi Odinga who seems a level-headed, venerable leader of the day and not one of the marauding band ‘Mau-Mau’ who had given the white man so much grief. He in nationalist sentiment; flatly turns down the offer declaring, “No Uhuru without Kenyatta.” He receives much condemnation — even from fellow African members of the LEGCO, for “embracing detainees whom the government considered to be dangerous criminals”. The statement hardened the feelings of the Europeans in the LEGCO and outside, who began calling Jaramogi a communist lackey. Unlikely was the rebuttal from Dr. Julius Kiano and Hon. Jeremiah Nyaga both from the ambient of Kenyatta’s home turf.  “Jomo Kenyatta and the Mau Mau rebellion brought nothing but misery to thousands of GEMA communities for six years and another six years in hardship in secret oath-taking and subversion,” they opined. Kenyatta eventually got released, formed government with Jaramogi as his Deputy. In due course, karma came full circle. They had a bitter fall out culminating in a vicious public clash, Jaramogi left government seething at betrayal to form an opposition party and eventually was detained for trumped-up treason and subversive charges in a de-facto one-party state. Regrettable ungratefulness.  Fast forward to modern times, same swamp with similar mindset in the alligators therein. Now we have the progeny of the two titans gunning for national leadership, one being already an incumbent following in his father’s footsteps and the other a former Prime Minister.

Let me delve into the grouse of this piece for fear of being labeled a lopsided history lecturer. We are all victims of failed governance in this country. Corruption is at an all-time high and heavy taxation is not even bringing us to half a point GDP improvement. This situation should not prevail indefinitely as we will collectively be wiped out as a populace by the time we turn a corner. But the greatest of the ills bedeviling this nation and which will ultimately shred our national fabric to pieces is tribalism and ethnic parochialism cum imperialism. Even the enlightened and young professionals, the hope of this generation practice it with ruthless abandon.

The first among a raft of postulated solutions to this unfortunate conundrum is a rotational presidency, first among the remaining three of big 5 who have not put a guy in the ‘house on the hill’ yet while keeping an eye for the best of the rest. It is always a boon to anybody when you feel that with hard work, perseverance, smart enterprise and sacrificial toil you can aspire to greatness. I propose we start now so as not to afflict our progeny with the unnecessarily preposterous burden of ending such a vile and utterly pointless vice as ethnicity coupled with interminable external debt. Consequent to this move many more Kenyans will start feeling more valued and precious. The only two tribes practically existent are the haves and have-nots or in DSTV parlance premium subscribers and the mass market. But in the shackled Kenyan psyche we have 42 others to add to these.

The first beneficiary I propose should be the guy many in this country call BABA (father). Some prefer ‘Jamaa ya vitendawili’, others the clown who wants to defend the kraal with a gun that has only one bullet, et-al. But hate him or love him Raila Odinga is an enigma, a colossus in the Kenyan landscape and a national hero. Choosing him will be such a calculated and no doubt sagacious move dealing the death knell to ethnic vendetta and stigmatization against a certain section of this republic. It cannot be gainsaid; we are still draped in the archaic darkness of tribal politics. Every dawning day, I sympathize with my friends from one side of the ethnic divide who are usually either deservedly or by no fault of their own the target of animosity as a consequence of their tribal kingpins thanks to war provoking, wreckless, half-witted and inebriated pronouncements. The depth of these people’s putrid sycophancy knows neither limits nor regard for their constituents whom they endanger with each blast of senseless sentiment into a microphone. They are relegated to mere militia. This nation also has deep-seated historical injustices which we cannot paper-over and must try to remedy.

I know I will gain many allies and mint new foes in equal measure with this pronouncement but I still stand by it. I have a conscience and astuteness too exorbitant to ever be purchased so no one can dare call me a hired political minion.  People have done worse things in this country. We have elected drug barons to regional and national leadership as true testament to moral decadence and socio-economic deification of miscreants while prostituting ourselves for pecuniary gain in the name of poverty. Throw in the dyed-in-wool, academic-certificate manufacturing, apocalyptically denounced false – prophets alias ‘men of the cloth.’ I wonder how asinine or desperate one has to be to be influenced by such deviants, thought devout but in actual sense are far less righteous than the unworthy sinner called yourself. This is a reproachable dereliction of one’s mental faculty which I will surely harangue such in a future post.

A vote for Raila will institutionalize meritocracy. Don’t you feel kind of odd when you have a struggling company trying to win tenders but are piped to the cherry by someone with minimal qualifications who concocts a company just to while having the bid ‘cooked’ for them? Doesn’t it rip out your very soul when you hear that someone took 60 million of your taxes to a mythical quarry in the dead of the darkest night to pay some ghost workers? That is the current state of doing business with the government in Kenya. We all enjoy a reward for our toil and sacrifice even if misdirected let alone focused, determined effort or achievement. Just as when ancient Greece under Solon and Cleisthenes introduced the philosophy of Democracy as an option to the prehistoric monarchy, feudalism, parochialism and stone-age man dictatorship. Many years later the Spartan King Leonidas single-handedly put up a last stand with only 300 men to defend the most feasible entry point by the megalithic Persian army led by King Xerxes into the rest of Greece and all manifestation of freedom and free enterprise. He valiantly defended these values held dear at Thermopylae. If God gave us freedom of choice, who is man to defecate on these values by instituting a narrow-minded ogre known as monarchy. This man has earned the right to be our president.

Crowning this man president will be payment of a debt of gratitude. He has been unfairly imprisoned, clobbered, chastised, tear-gassed among others for advocating for the rights which we currently enjoy. He with colleagues made the push that turned Kenya from a dejure one-party state to a full-fledged democracy. He has been consistent in advocating for the rights of all Kenyan citizens. He has sacrificed political ambition before, heeding to Kenyans pleas to declare ‘Kibaki tosha’ and help remove a repressive and kleptocratic regime that overstayed its welcome.  He campaigned for a crocked Kibaki when he was down and out, has braved whistles and castigation for naively agreeing to an MOU with a post that was not enshrined in the constitution. He has won an election, been rigged out, given a raw deal as ‘ceremonial’ Prime Minister, won again but rigged out on the basis of two million members of the electorate who only voted for his only viable rival presidential candidate and no one else. He suffered from the rash rulling of a time-barred Supreme court who curtly brushed his evidence aside. He has been bad-mouthed by a supposed arbiter who was the IEBC Chair as a ‘perennial loser who is a cry baby not able to stomach defeat.’ I think this is his chance. If not for any other reason, just try him out to get him out of our collective system and consciences. Moses died before reaching Canaan. However, let us not allow this great son of this soil to go aground before sitting on the presidential seat.

By having this man as president we will have proved to have weaned ourselves from the cyclical, self-destructive and detrimental dementia of tribalism to issue-based politics. Compared to Tanzania we look like cattle without a herder who inadvertently let our brains go out with the dung. Their Seminal policy after independence has proved beneficial. For Instance, take the Post-election Violence in 2007. He never called for the killing, rape and displacement of anyone. He only had a natural spontaneous reaction to having his bride stolen on the wedding night. Facts always trump myths. Fables are fleeting and volatile like ethylene vapour but the truth like the rocky outcrop of an escarpment will always prevail and retain structural integrity as testament to what is, was and will always be a fact. He has been accused of violence, a myth that was clinically dispelled by the ICC. It is self-effacing to assume you have monopoly over intelligence or maybe sound leadership abilities just based on your geographical genesis. Just give the man benefit of doubt. At least choose a leader who practices what he preaches. Peace and prosperity.

Despite many bottle-necks, the period most democratic reform and economic development was attained in this land uncannily coincided with the time he was in Government and later Prime Minister. A few talk about failures of ‘Nusu-mkate’, but those are the guys with a bigoted mindset and predominantly that same ‘nusu-mkate’ between their ears. They fail to see the pressures this man was under swimming against the tide of a forced co-principal hell-bent on ensuring his failure. He did not do too shabbily under those inhumane conditions.

He has proved to be one of the cleaner political operators. Despite the filth associated with politics, this one here has kept his head above the murk. He is yet to be implicated or dragged to court for a mega scandal. He has a clean moral rap sheet declaring time and again he is as white as fleece.

When one system fails institute another. When you have a ruler who leads a decrepit government so inept as to cry about corruption in the opposition ranks instead of using his authority to arrest perpetrators. A pretender statesman who trades insults with the opposition while he is president instead of taking cues and finding solutions lost me at ‘mugoroci’. When did the consummate statesman Barrack Obama ever trade insults with the Republicans throughout his 8 years in power yet he has our blood? To add insult to injury a guy who publically gloats about ‘kula nyama wengine wakimeza mate’ yet the jurisdiction he presides has neither mechanisms nor foresight to deal with the cyclical yet predictable phenomena like famine & cattle rustling but insists on depending on divine providence and rain-fed agriculture, we have the classic case of a failed system. To paraphrase Miguna Miguna if it quacks, walks and looks like a duck then it is one. Why put this guy through the rigmarole of serving a lame-duck presidency when we have a more experienced, humane, able and no doubt popular man ready to take charge?

We will not hear the end of the pride associated with our lake side kinsmen if their man ascends to state house, but so what? First Oliech then Obama, then Odinga… jamaneni? But we are a resilient people. We can deal with it. From diversity stems our strength, heritage and coagulant as Kenyans.

All in all know that the only driver of your destiny is yourself. Problems are to humans as rotting is to corpses. We cannot eradicate all social ills, but national inclusivity and a spirit of brotherhood will make our afflictions more palatable. Vote with your conscience my brother. Tribalism is a Cancer.

Many of us who are keen followers of the English Premier League are aware of the name Mike Dean. In times gone by he was the envy of his peers. Viewed as the paragon of integrity and fairness coupled with athletic flair and some degree of theatrics from time to time was his trade mark. A top-level professional, he was given most of the high profile matches to play the crucial role of arbiter. He has also been feted by no less the same peers as the referee of the season for many a campaign, an equivocally great honour. Then it all unraveled before his eyes in ways even he could not ever have fathomed. In recent times his standards have been gradually slipping. But things came to a head when West Ham hosted Manchester United in January. Dean sent off Sofiane Feghouli for a challenge on Phil Jones which was later rescinded. This culminated in the official attracting an immeasurable quantum of criticism for his shocking performance. Dean awarded more penalties than any other league referee this season with ten. Remarkably, five of the last six red cards he has shown have been rescinded. EPL could no longer stomach such a horror movie actor. Ultimately, his credibility was sempiternally tainted by that fiasco. Punitively, he has been demoted to the lower tier known as the English Championship with less glamour and more ‘windy nights in Staffordshire’ and cattle track playing surfaces. This may be purgatory for him or in pessimistic Russian speak, “he may have let the Pierogi Burn.” How great the mighty tumble. Key word ‘credibility.’ Sorry, digression things!

I would like to take this chance to congratulate and cordially welcome the newly appointed IEBC Chairman Mr. Wafula Chebukati and his team to the hot seat! The above statement is not a misnomer but a candid assessment of the challenges ahead of this team. It will be an interesting chance and great honour for them to offer their skill, competence even eccentricities to the progression and success of this vital national institution. The task ahead of them is by no means a walk in the park. Ensuring a just, free, fair, accurate, verifiable, credible, accountable; hence, peaceful 2017 General Election is the first item on their in-tray.
From low voter turnout (apathy), inadequate voter education to understaffing in the institution, these tribulations continue to gnaw at the fabric of the organization like a very hungry louse. The apathy could two-pronged. Famine related as people have moved elsewhere in such of survival and general disillusionment of the populace with the current thieving, chameleonistic & ‘dead-beat dad’ current crop. Greater challenges include the failure of the biometric voter registration kit, instances of multiple identities registered under one identity card number already witnessed for two high-level dignitaries, mix up of details in these kits as seen for one opposition leader, irregular distribution of the kits, incorporation of foreigners into the voter register. Reports of the conscription of National Intelligence Service Agents into the voter registration process has reared a very ugly head into an already ghastly mix. To add insult to injury, an open attack on the independence of the institution by the edict issued by the Interior Cabinet Secretary to all county administrators that they jeopardize their tenure if they assist in the voter registration in the opposition strong holds has sullied the process further. A member of the ruling coalition recently by the skin-of-the-teeth escaped arrest in a neighbouring country leaving behind what may prima facie appear to be voter registration materials. What the hell were they even doing with these? Even the once noble National Youth Service registration of bio-metrics has been integrated into the voter register. These would no doubt present an arduous cogency challenge even for veterans in the job let alone one still in the internship phase of his / her posting.

The former Kenyan Prime Minister and irrevocably venerable citizen of this country has in recent time made some disparaging accusations against this institution. What steps are being made to disabuse his fears and render them moot? According to the empirical, logical and internationally acclaimed scientific norm in testing a hypothesis, one is usually adduced. Then you get a sample size for testing, collect data on the basis of this hypothesis, compare results obtained on the import of the hypothesis then you finally declare the null hypothesis a truth or fallacy. Have steps been taken with regard to this?

I have personally experienced an anomaly in the verification process. When I took the responsibility of going to confirm if my biometrics had been captured; the wide-eyed beauty (whose father must be very proud of) on call for that day gave me the obligatory precursory salutation. She then proceeded to ask a visibly animated ‘yours truly’ for my Identity Card. She keyed in the number and out spewed forth my name and polling centre from the last elections among other details. When I casually asked why none of my biometric features had been used to identify me, I was casually dismissed with a smile. All the while getting chided by the queue behind me who thought I was unnecessarily holding up progress with this apparently infernal flirting. Forgive me for expressing sentiments of concern. Is the technology being insulated from failure?

The failures of the recently disbanded Ahmed Issack Hassan-led commission and the now-defunct Kivuitu-led  Electoral Commission of Kenya were mainly due to a glaring lack of independence. Among other obstacles this can only be a recipe for disaster when in the eyes of the electorate credibility is not apparent. The Kenyan populace is sufficiently high-tech to know when they are being taken for the beat about the bush. In the logical back drop of all this, will Kenyans believe and accept the outcome of this year’s presidential elections? Let us put to the death knell this ethnic colonialism/dictatorship that is glossed over as the much-vaunted ‘Tyranny of numbers’ by our current ruling class. Why does one want bloodshed in this great land of ours? No amount of intimidation will bludgeon Kenyans to accept the result of a tainted process and just move on. Frustration like a raw wound will continue to fester on the collective body of the citizenry. What conscience will the victor of such a flawed process have to celebrate a pre-doctored outcome? Will such a person ever have any legitimacy as a national leader?

Not one to complain, I will attempt to concoct a few remedies:

1. Revolutionary as it may seem, it will be a wonderful idea to scrap the entire voter register and create a new list from scratch. It may seem a time consuming and soul-sapping venture but will ultimately be worthwhile in mending the torn credibility fabric. Kenyan peace is also on the line if this is not addressed.
2. Visionary leadership from the current president. Call to order your Interior Cabinet secretary and inform him that voter registration and poking elbows on the ribs of the referee body is severely frowned and has no room in your administration. NIS should also be read the riot act and be made to know better and stick to their lane. Otherwise, we will view him as just another African despot complicit in this and keen to profit from the attendant lapse in autonomy, all the while abusing state resources.
3. The IEBC secretariat and field staff should be reorganized as a matter of urgency. A renaissance is required in the human resource in the registration and Technical departments. The kits cannot be maintained by amateurs if the cataclysmic failure envisaged by our Attorney general is to be eschewed. Logistical support in technical and infrastructure is mandatory. They are many knowledgeable but unemployed youths. Gainfully engage them.
4. Have an independent IEBC system server not breached by outside influence or co-hosting other things. This is too important a function to be co-hosted with some other cock-and-bull organization under the guise of cost-cutting. We all remember the events of last elections that one Dennis Itumbi had to labouriously yet unconvincingly justify. Also edify the polling clerks on the requisite passwords and PINs for the software to work the system. Also remember to carry to the polling stations spare batteries, chargers, solar charging systems, UPS and all that pertains.
5. Rein in on politicians engaging in voter bribery, hate speech and violent posturing. You have the mechanisms to deem these unfortunate characters ineligible for the polls. Wield that axe now. This country is for us all and not just for somebody’s mum.
6. No more ‘Chicken-gate’ type scandals in IEBC procurement.
7. Voter Education is key. This should be your obligation and not a public service gimmick. Enlighten the citizenry both on the need to vote and facilitate the process.
8. Take action on genuine complaints from all parties. Some may seem like perennial cry-babies but are raising reasonable qualms. Prevention is better than cure. This will be good for the non-partisan image.

Why should Kenya; previously viewed as a harbinger of democracy, be left to slip down to such a level as to have the likes of Nigeria, Ghana, Cote D’Ivoire, Senegal, Malawi, Tanzania and even backwater Gambia in front of us as more mature democracies where an incumbent can lose the elections and make no attempt to influence the poll? All of us must jealously guard our position as a constitution abiding democracy and one of the better students of good governance.

My parting shot to Mr. Chebukati, do not fall victim to compromise and blackmail. Jealously guard your independence and fiercely enforce it. The elephant in the room. A few attribute your rise to prominence to an attempt by the ruling coalition to eat into a major part of the constituency regarded as an opposition stronghold in Bungoma and Trans Nzoia by selecting you to hoodwink your community of government ‘favour’ together with Wabukhala and Chiloba. My advice; even if you got this position through patronage, I dare aver without fear of contrition and an unmatched conviction that Kenya is greater than the progenitor of your being in this position. As such even if favoured, show yourself as your own man and exercise an unbridled streak of independence in the execution of your mandate. You could have been set up to fail but shame the Devil. The ball is now in your court.

In the Saturday Standard of 7^th January 2017, veteran politician Koigi wa Wamwere had this interesting anecdote. A story is told of this mythical farm where there lived a farmer with his panoply of livestock. The serene and bucolic setting only belied the surreptitious mannerisms of each. The petrichor emanating from the fertile earth after the rains could not be surpassed by any other. All was not well in paradise as there was Mr. Mouse who wrecked havoc on the farmer’s produce. Piqued by the incessant loss of produce he set a trap to catch the mouse. The mouse got wind of this and tried to engage the cockerel for a solution to this problem. He hit a brick wall. He did not lose hope. He tried to touch base with the goat but with similar result. All was not lost, he thought. As the cow was seemingly closer to the farmer; the mouse tried some camaraderie with him in the hope that he may have some ideas but was flatly turned down and advised to look elsewhere as mouse’s troubles were none of his concern. The mouse could not risk it and had to sleep on an empty tummy. Come midnight there was a commotion in the silo which the farmer responded rapidly to. His haste tapered to a whimper when he was inadvertently confronted by a terribly aggravated snake that had been the unfortunate victim of the trap. It dug its fangs deep injecting copious amounts of venom into the farmer’s circulation. The farmer collapsed into sempiternal tranquility. The next day gloom and melancholy hung heavy as the cockerel was slaughtered to feed the bereaved. As numbers surged, the goat soon joined in as a protein source for the mourners. At the Funeral of the elder; no other animal could suffice for the collective appetites of the esteemed mourners but the cow. Eventually, it was woe unto the rest and bliss for the mouse who was virtually acquitted. The moral of the story is anyone’s problem can eventually balloon to everyone’s problem. But I seriously digress.

With the complexities in life, running a business, employment, farming, raising children and all the hullabaloo involved it is easy to get tangled up in a maze. One is vulnerable to losing sight of the most important things. Of vital importance are constitutional obligations, one being registration and making your voice heard through the ballot. The simple requirements to be registered as a voter in Kenya include:

• You must be eighteen years of age and above.
• You must be of sound mind which is facile enough if you are reading this post.
• You must have an original National Identification card or valid Kenyan passport.
• You must physically present yourself at the registration centre of your choice and fill in a requisition form to be a registered voter.

During his presidency; one of the most beloved and most greatly revered of American presidents and world statesmen, Abraham Lincoln preached the importance of the government being of, for, and by the people. He argued that voters played the most important role in making sure the government reflected their wishes and functioned according to the guidelines of the Constitution.

Despite Lincoln’s appeal to the public, it can be argued that many people today fail to appreciate or acknowledge their role in shaping the government. Equally, our forebearers fought viciously against colonialism with this as one of their aims in mind. The Right to Self rule and determination. As citizens, we should maintain our responsibilities as eligible voters. This statement aptly and succinctly applies to Kenya.

Registering to vote. Notably, people’s most important responsibility as citizens involves registering to vote. If you are legal citizens of the nation born or naturalized who are of legal age then you are eligible to vote in elections. The process of becoming a registered voter is simple and can be taken care of in a matter of minutes.

Voting in Elections. Once you are registered to vote, you should then make every effort to do so. Many people dismiss this responsibility by saying that they do not care about the issues on the ballot or that they are unfamiliar with the candidates up for election, voting won’t end their troubles or worse still the queue is too long and they may catch an airborne infection associating with so many people. Balderdash!

Additionally; here in our great land with its historical issues and with our electoral system a work in progress, there is always the fear of vote tally manipulation which disenfranchises many voters. If voting is amenable to manipulation, many see no need to engage in such a fruitless venture which appears to them as a predetermined bet. However, by failing to use their privilege to vote, people essentially allow other voters to make decisions for them, to let deviant voices be heard over them who make no effort go to the polls. With elections especially in Sub-Saharan Africa you only have to go with the wisdom espoused in the Serenity prayer by American Theologian, Reinhold Niebuhr. Have the serenity to accept things you cannot change while having the courage to change those you can all the while having the wisdom to know the difference. Come Elections day forget everything and only remember that this is your one and only chance to hold your leader by the scruff of the neck to account for how much he has achieved in 5 years. Any other time, their self declared ‘soldiers’ & ‘bouncers’ will make mincemeat out of you. If not, this is the opportune moment to throw out the obstinate child with the bathwater and bring in the person you want.

People outside their home counties. Will Kenya ever evolve electorally to the level where we can vote electronically? For now if you pose this query, the answer is an emphatic NO! So it is imperative for one to just bite the bullet, get off his couch and go out and brave it out on the ‘foleni.’ Some people will claim that because they work far away from where they were born, they will be inconvenienced by the hustle of travelling ‘upcountry’ to vote. Besides, most people save so as to only appear on the other side only in the Christmas season before hurrying back. Let no one downplay your significance as seeming unimportance. One ant may not seem much but in unity many can bring down a colossal mansion. In the newly enacted Kenyan constitution  Chapter 7, Article 81 furnishes every citizen with the right to live, work, register as a voter and have his voice heard electorally anywhere in this august nation. Your vote is vital. Your side needs it. By ‘side’ I mean people who are congenial, sharing similar needs, ideals, principles, beliefs and visions. In Kenya it has an ethnic connotation to it. We hear of the phrase ‘Tyranny of numbers.’ This is one awkward term which has no manifestation whatsoever with regards to the population census. By and large a consequence of members of what would have been one huge ‘vote-bloc’ shunning their obligation to vote. The very essence of democracy is for the minority to have their say while the majority has their way. By not voting you even lose the moral authority to complain about morally inept and inadequate leadership of the person who sailed through as a result of you failing to cast your vote for the most preferred leader. This is one of the primary reasons why you need to vote!

The outcomes of elections can impact voters’ personal freedoms, taxes, general destiny and fate of the nation even with regards to her neighbours and other aspects of daily life that they take for granted. Because of the far-reaching impact that an election can have, people have the duty to cast their vote if they want a say in how their futures play out.

You should also stay up-to-date about the location of your respective polling station. The locations of polling stations change regularly. A school, church, or business that was utilized as a polling place during the last election may not be used again for the next. Voters can find out their polling places online by visiting the IEBC website or your nearest regional offices. Even Huduma Centre I suppose. What are they for anyway?

Remember that your Vote is the only weapon you have against that corrupt, inept, failed, ‘60-million shillings in sack clueless’, perverted, bigot, ego-maniac, selfish and all-round moribund politician. Voters play a major role in shaping the government and their very own futures. They can satisfy their duty as voters by observing this noble responsibility.

Any government of the day worth their salt has the responsibility of developing an electoral system that is simple, credible and efficient with minimal margin for error. As with all systems, there is none that is perfect. It is always in a constant need for improvement. Invariably, the election being a matter of grave national importance and especially bitterly contested in Kenya, it needs to be safeguarded from all shock. As one wise albeit subtle man once put it, ‘any election worth contesting is worth rigging.’ Systems should be developed with the hindsight of this axiom in mind.

‘Kenyans on Twitter’ and the lovers of the tipple. For the ‘Justin-Bieber generation’ and newly-minted middle-class Kenyans who spend 90% of their time on social media, my advice will be to carry your phone, tablet, iPad and whatnot to the polling station. While at the queue waiting your turn you can enjoy the serendipity to tweet, Instagram, YouTube, Facebook and take ‘selfie’ to your heart’s fill! You will kill two birds with one stone; exercising your God-provided constitutional obligation while still keeping up with the “Joneses, Bobos and Shishes” on social media. I must also take this opportunity to lampoon those adults who discuss in ebullient seemingly passionate voices of their afflictions in public discourses yet on elections day inexplicably become too drunk to even stand on the line let alone walk a straight line! Refrain from alcohol or other drugs one day before the polls. Even if free, keep the drinks in a fridge as you will have 5 years of having one for the road any day after the polls. Your side will desperately need every vote it can get. So stay sober.

Have no fear of retribution. This is a secret ballot vote. Come out to vote for the leader of your conscience not just for your own sake but for the sake of that seventeen-year-old who cannot wait to be old enough to take the onus, for the unborn child who needs a reasonable leader with the presence of mind to safeguard their interests for the future though they are not there yet. Choose the one who shies away from both opportunistic and chameleon-like tendencies. We are ON come Tuesday, the 8^th day of August 2017. Cast a vote for posterity and national prosperity. The future will judge you harshly if you do not!